My friend told me to blog what I feel, exactly how I feel. So here I am sitting with a tub of strawberry ice-cream that is currently being drenched in my tears…writing, while the weird mixture melts away. I go through my contacts…no, no, no and no. Not one true friend.
Betrayed, yeah that’s how I feel. Trust, something that takes years to build and seconds to break. It’s hard to tell who has your back, from who has it long enough just to stab you in it. When your best friend does it to you for some miserable bitch, and I mean it, you are aren’t sure of what to do, you know? Forgive the person for their mistake because everyone deserves a chance or be mad at them for fucking your life up? I’m not really sure why. But…do you stop loving someone just because they betray you? I don’t think so. That’s what makes the betrayal hurt so much – pain, frustration, anger and more along those lines.
In recent days, I have come to learn a lot about betrayal, how one can never rely on someone else, how your best friends are sometimes truly another person and how you end up betraying yourself for someone else. All of the secrets and shared emotions are turned around and used against you. Your weaknesses are played until you break down and are slowly torn to pieces. All of the rumors and the so-called lies are true. You, being the better person, try to look past them, give your friend the benefit of the doubt. But when the truth comes out and the lies being to unravel, what do you have left? When do you know to let a friendship go and when to hold on? From that point on, all the trust you once had for your friend is gone and it can never be rebuilt.
When you entrust someone with your secrets, you are relying on them to honor it. Your feelings are not considered ans when you are forgotten about, betrayed, there is no going back. The person you thought they were is gone. All that’s left are feelings of hurt, questioning where you went wrong and how too move forward.
Suddenly, a friendship is