The pictures of you and me? Deleted. The memories? Buried deep. The songs? Skipped. My feelings for you? Fading. Do I love you? Yes. Do I miss you? Sometimes. Do I care? More than I know. Why am I doing this? Because I’m still unsure.
Moving on is so much easier in movies. I still see you everyday and yeah it’s good to know you’re okay but other than that, it doesn’t matter. But somewhere not far deep inside there is still a fear of some kind, clinging on to me. A fear of forgetting you? I don’t think I’m capable of that. A fear of being forgotten by you? Maybe. A fear of me not being able to see you? Honestly need to face it, in a while,It’s only a matter of days before you graduate. Was it a good decision to stop talking? Doesn’t feel like it. Do I regret it? Sometimes.
Things around me are lovely. Perfect, like a picture. Friends remaining true, negativity shoved out the windows, appearance feels satisfying and pleasing, fears? What’s that? I’m so getting over them. Music’s back on track, major decisions and little changes, pretty dresses and amazing days, reading and living in another world and hot tea at five in the morning. Beautiful life.
Seemingly I’ve answered all the questions that troubled me until yesterday. I feel quite sorted to be honest. There’s just one last question that I just couldn’t seem to answer.
Until five lines ago.
How am I? Better of without you.