Tick-tock…

It is moments like these. Major headache, winter chills, dreary days and miserable nights. Music sounds like noise, just filling the agonizing and loud silence. Exactly eight hours and twenty six minutes before they keep an answer sheet along with a question paper full of mathematics questions in front of me. Testing me and my cramming capabilities. Eight hours and ten minutes before I walk past his class and look at his nose buried in his book and think to myself, “he’ll never change”. Nine hours and five minutes before relief floods my mind as they take away the answer sheet with nothing relevant on it and my mind goes back to thoughts of the day ahead of me. Thirteen hours and thirty five minutes before the bell that signifies lunch goes off, and my friends and I rush to the canteen like a majority of the school’s population and get others to buy us food while my eyes frantically scan the crowd to locate him only to see him happily laughing away with that other girl with the pretty hair and I, struggling to look away because that’s just how much it hurts. Thirteen hours and five minutes, before I’m forced to go back to class, surrounded by people I loathe.
Seventeen hours and forty five minutes before school ends, and we all gather on the stage for dispersal and I see him again. Happier, better, cheerful and with her as my heart sinks further down. Eighteen hours before I’m in the bus that takes my back to my safe shelter; home. Ninteen hours and thirty minutes before I get home and collapse on the bed, only to be challenged by questions like,”how was your exam?”,”how much are you expecting” and think to myself, “just expecting him to come back”,”just expecting that one new text to be from him”,”just aware that I’m going to be disappointed… Yet again”.
Twenty eight hours before I lie back in bed with my makeup smudged and hair in a bun from the wedding I came back from and think of my life with the lights turned out and darkness calming my restless and exhausted self.
Thirty three hours, before I try again.

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