I’m sorry, I give up.

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Something I came across that I relate to beyond measure.

I’ve been told enough times to know that I’m different. The past few years have been nothing but a struggle to embrace that huge mental gap between me and the society that I’m so conveniently judged by. To do something that isn’t right, to be rebellious and to have the balls to take a risk, have always been in my blood, but it seems as though it’s not seen as that anymore. There are certain habits I have, that I know I shouldn’t, I’ll admit I’m gullible but just for the people I love, I’ve understood how this society works, and so I don’t wish to be a part of it.
It was the last straw. He was the last straw. These people around me are the last straw. Although I often wonder, why can these people not be indifferent to difference? Is that so difficult? Clearly, to them it is.
Emptiness and silence surround me, in this loud city. I can’t feel what I ideally should, I’m emotionally shut. And they can do nothing about it, just like me.
So this is my apology, to all of you out there, I’m sorry I’m not like you and I’m sorry I’ll never be.
Until later
TheNarcissisticGirlNextDoor
The cheery eyed happy girl that can’t keep it up anymore.

19 Comments Add yours

  1. theonlysup says:

    U should be for sorry being unique or different. Nobody is same. May be some commonality brings them closer but they are different. I like the fact that u r little rebellious.. As much as I know from ur writings so far. I understand the way were feeling when u wrote this .. But then u r only giving people chance to hurt u by telling yes I’m gullible. Never say that.. These are few things came to my mind . apologies if anything hurt u

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m not sorry for being different, I’m sorry that I don’t fit in. I’m not talking about differences of habits, of course everyone is different, but a lot fit societies definition.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. theonlysup says:

        Why do u feel u don’t fit in ??nah M just trying to understand..

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Because I don’t. I don’t think like them, reputation doesn’t matter to me, I’m loud and I abuse way too openly. I’m just not anything like them.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. theonlysup says:

        Haaa that’s what I was trying to convey. U don’t have to think like them behave like them interact like them because u have ur own principles, values, choices and it may not match with society norms .. But do not be sorry ..

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Well, that’s not really how it works in India. You either fit in, or you just don’t. And if you don’t, you’re wrong. That’s all.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. theonlysup says:

        I’m in India too. I can feel the emotions when u say this. But then whom Ru living for ?? If u try to fit in into society norms always . will u regret that u couldn’t sing song of ur life ?? I don’t want u to regret that way .. Society is anyway gonna judge

        Liked by 1 person

      6. But the emptiness is haunting me. There’s only so many times I can be headstrong about all those judgements.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. theonlysup says:

    Correction *you should not be sorry for being different

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Edward says:

    I’d say, you should be great you don’t fit in with those fatheads whom we call a society. I don’t, and I am glad. Makes me only want to take risks more, and live more. By my rules. as ‘Theonlysup’ said, they’ll keep judging. But we can do our part as a rebel, create movement. Live and change.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I guess I’m just a bit thrown off by everything.

      Like

      1. Edward says:

        I’ve heard that’s it’s fine not to be so. Take your time, it will all work out. Until then.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Edward says:

    Fine to be so*. I apologise for my mistake.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hell yeah you shouldn’t be sorry for being different! Screw society. As far as you are concerned, your society should be limited to your parents and family. You should only make decisions and choices which go down well with you and no one else. Only you have to live your life…
    And don’t worry, this phase will go away soon. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 🙂 I understand that, but it’s starting to creep up inside me.

      Like

      1. Edward says:

        You know what they say? ‘Sometimes, before it gets better, it becomes bigger. The person you’d take the bullet for, is behind the trigger.’ I am sorry for quoting the whole thing but it just feels incomplete if I just said the first sentence. So yes, it will creep up inside you, and there’s nothing you can do about it; So let it do what it has to. ‘the best way to get away from your fear is to face it.’

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Actually. The whole thing fits perfectly. Thank you so much 🙂

        Like

      3. Talk to someone. Write it down, just don’t keep it inside.

        Liked by 1 person

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