I have been fairly irritated the past few days and it has surprisingly made me see everything in a different light. I have started to dislike the people I once adored and spent a majority of my day with. Today, when I look at my so -called “best friends”, I don’t see a bubbly girl who cares for me, or a guy who wold always be there for me, or the girl that always admired me and relied on me. I see a girl who is can’t get over her ego and believes that her opinion is right as long as she is loud, someone who doesn’t even realize the importance of shutting up sometimes. I see a guy who is selfish and wants everything to be about him, as though his problems were the most tragic things that mankind faces, because just sometimes you should ask your shoulder to cry on; whether they’re alright. I see a girl who enjoyed my company simply because she could get a glance into what my life is like, to gain the exposure that her friends failed to provide, for that mere excitement of trying new things and new experiences.
When I see their faces every morning, a cloud of disgust surrounds me. I no longer even want to be associated with such people. I often wonder what triggered this, perhaps I adored them too much to care about their flaws and only now do I realize what they are like, or maybe the kind of exposure I’ve been getting lately and the kind of people I meet have made me see how much these people were dragging me down.
Because when they are done with their work, they go back to their relaxing life, but when I need someone? They’re “too busy”. I know they say hate is a strong word, but I truly hate people who can’t see two feet beyond themselves. I hate that I spent so much time on people who don’t even matter, people I would leave in a heartbeat if I could. And believe me, I no longer wish to have anything to do with them.
In a weird way, not being around people who have nothing better to do has made me focused. It has made me more compassionate and caring. It has motivated me to do everything I can in my power to stay away from them. And though it infuriates me and takes all of me to keep my calm, They have taught me how to deal with my problems all by myself, it’s made me stronger, bolder and more independent.
And I’d like to keep it that way…
Until further need to express,
The girl behind the veil