Major Missing

Remember how I said I was over him? Well, it turns out that I really really am.

But I still have my moments.

Moments when I miss him and his presence.

I miss it all being about him and no one else,when it was understood that no guy would take his place. when it wasn’t complicated or about five other guys hitting on me without even bothering to get to know the real me.I miss actual conversations even if they were centered around a sitcom and not “hey do you wanna meet up at a lounge?”. I miss his attempts to make me laugh and making a fool of himself in the process. The way we took out time to become comfortable around each other even on a phone call. I miss passing by him in the school corridor and making it a point to pass his class just for that one second of flutter is caused in my stomach. The first time we made the effort to meet was something I will never forget. The way he held me and how the silence was nothing but an assurance of the fact that we needed nothing more. I love how his kisses felt and how he could anticipate my every move, I miss how we would melt into each other and get lost in a world of our own.

I miss saying those three words to him and actually meaning them. I miss those sweet escapes and stolen moments. I miss him so much that it hurts like a physical pain at times, almost like a physical craving for his presence. It hurts because I can’t feel his lingering presence anymore, I can’t remember it as vividly as I could at one point.

It hurts because it’s fading before my eyes and there is nothing I can do about it but cling for memories my mind struggles to let exist.