I think I’ve come around to realizing why people like my writing or why they may not, it’s very raw. At least that’s what I think. It’s very frank and to the point and not shadowed by grand words that people need to struggle to understand, even though as a kid I’d purposely try to use words my teacher wouldn’t know the meaning to in my essays #IStillDoIt.

I’ve become very unrecognizable to myself lately, it’s a strange feeling to be content with oneself. It is legit unsettling. I look at myself in the mirror everyday and no longer see someone who isn’t doing well at math or someone who smoked cigarettes, I see someone who has made mistakes and has no regrets. I see someone who believes in what she stands for and understands the world around her. I see someone who is proud of what she has done and strives to do more. When I look back at the last two years, I can’t help but think of what a bittersweet ride it has been. I still find myself bubbling with glee as I write these lines, from the step up of this blog, to tiresome projects, disappointments and stress along with beautiful memories of high school life.

Maybe that’s all we’re about, about what we make of ourselves, about how positive we can be about ourselves, about how content we can be with our lives. I think that’s what humans are all about and I feel that that’s how it should be because this feeling, beats all others. Even love. See the thing about love is that it can be snatched away from you, but to tear you apart after you’ve put yourself together, is a whole different ball game. I remember reading in one of the hunger games books, “It takes ten times more effort and energy to put yourself together that it does to fall apart” and once you do put yourself together, you don’t allow yourself to fall apart that easily. {P.S Of course I remember what book I read it in, Finnick Odair to Katniss Everdeen while they’re being attacked by the capital in district 13 (Mockingjay), I was just being modest}

Some may complain, some may blame and accuse and say “this isn’t how it’s done, you’re trying to grow up to fast”, but you know what? I may die today, or tomorrow, or heck I may die right now , then what? Honestly, You may have your own morals and values and beliefs but when I look at people so bound by all this, I barely see any of them happy with themselves, in fact I see most of them feeling suffocated by their own selves. So you know what, it’s okay if I don’t get mind blowing grades and it’s okay if people feel the need to tell me what to do with my life, because at the end of the day, none of it matters. All I need is to keep myself motivated, and as long as I don’t lose myself; it’ll all be alright.

Maybe you’d like to disagree with me, say that I’m just a teenager and I’ve seen nothing yet, but I assure you that I’ve seen enough. I’ve seen enough to know that somewhere inside, you know I’m right.



The girl behind the veil


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