Hey guys! This is the first letter under my newest pet project called “The anonymous letters project” The name in itself is fairly self explanatory, I want to offer to all the writers, the poets, the deep thinkers, the lovers and everyone who feels the need to express; a platform where they can be honest and address letters to whomever and whatever they want without the fear of judgement. Ideally, the writers name is meant to be anonymous, however, in certain cases, the name may be revealed if the person so chooses.
If anyone wishes to be a part of this project they may email me their letters at email@example.com or fill this form if they wish to keep their identity a complete secret.
I am writing to you because I cannot confess to anyone else.
I can’t even confess to the past or the future. I can only confess to the present, only because I know that the present will leave.
People in my life leave me, even when they are around. They stay with me but they aren’t truly there. You see, I am not worth staying for. It takes some people knowing for people to find out that I am not who they thought I was.
I’m not that smart.
My words aren’t all that great and my voice has a hint of magic that is basically a facade.
I’m not that honest.
I lie, but I don’t lie skillfully enough.
I want people to stay so I create masks. But my masks are weak and translucent.
I want people to stay because ironically, I am desperate for attention. For love.
But I can’t blame people for leaving. I haven’t given them a reason to stay.
But Time, I want you to move on. To pull me along because I have hope that as you move along, I will find happiness.
I have hope that somewhere down the road, you and I will come across someone who will see something in me that creates an unbreakable connection.
Maybe, as we move forward, something will evolve within me. A magnet of sorts that will force people to stay with me, unknowingly.
I need you to move along because if you stop, I will lose hope.
And I cannot have one more part of me leave.
Time, I wish I could feel you. I wish you could talk so that I don’t feel crazy for talking to you.
But sometimes, I hope that you don’t exist because I fear that you too will realize that you’ve been wasting yourself with me.
Time, more than anything, I wish you could walk backwards. Turn around so that I could fix things.
Change the words I said.
I trick myself into believing that you won’t turn back and let me fix things because you want me to depend on you.
Time, Shakespeare called you a slut.
Time, people tried to chain you to them. They tried to manipulate you so that you work for them.
Man expects even you to work for their selfish desires.
I love you for who you are. I guess I too am selfish because I need you to stay the way you are.
Time, I do hold a grudge against you.
You changed me as you pulled me along.
My family loved me when I was a child.
And now they can’t recognize me.
Sometimes, it hurts me. Sometimes, it makes me want to not be who I am.
But most of the times, I am glad.
Because I think you opened my eyes. You forced me to my own person even if I wasn’t who my parents wanted me to be.
Sometimes, I feel happy when my family sees me as a puzzle they don’t particularly want to complete.
Time, I am aggressive.
I am angry.
I am hypocritical, confused and selfish.
I am angry yet I find hope in every corner of the world, in every person who passes me by.
I don’t feel when I must, I cry when I shouldn’t.
Maybe, I will always be alone.
Maybe, abstract concepts like you will be my only company.
Dear Time, do what you must. Just, please,
Keep me with you.
Even though you were my first love,
I hope you won’t be my last.
The lying chronicler