I feel a little lost these days. It’s like that feeling of numbness in chaos. I don’t know what to do when and I’m just floating there.
School is way too long for my taste, it feels like it’s a never ending maze. I like to believe my classes are going well but more often than not I’m just lost, but at least my teachers are really understanding. People here probably think I’m too self involved or am not trying but the truth is I don’t even know what to do. I can’t just sit and watch TV all do and weekends are the only time I actually achieve something.
Being an exchange student is a lot more overwhelming than most people like to think. It may just be me but there’s this constant scare of the time slipping and nostalgia and feeling like you’re not good enough and that you’re wasting your time. I will probably look back to this as an amazing experience but some days are hard to get by. It’s like a constant countdown to get back home. Perhaps I haven’t quite let go of my activities in India because those are what make me, without them I’m just ordinary.
In other news, last weekend I went to Brussels with my sister and we got off on a random metro station, got lost a bunch of times, discovered that there exist different kinds of chocolate such as one with lemongrass and chilli. It was a pretty good day. I also keep falling in and out of love with nights because they have a weird comfort as well has haunting feeling to them. It is also starting to get extremely cold here.
Everything just changed too fast and it’s taking a while digesting it.