Seven Things I mean When I Tell You “I’m Sorry”

(i) I don’t know how to stop being afraid,
How to stop allowing fear to consume the cracks
Of the place, we call home
I’m afraid one day,
They will crumble the walls that keep us safe 

(ii) I don’t know how to love you
Not quite in the way that I think you deserve
How do I give the world,
To someone who is all of mine? 

(iii) When you tell me you love me,
My heart often stops in its tracks.
Suddenly all flaws become defining features
And I’m left untangling the knots
That often keep me together 

(iv) When you make me laugh,
Something inside me tightens
I like to think it is every fiber of my being
Wrapping itself around your words
In an attempt to bring you closer

(v) I mean I am sorry because somedays
I don’t feel like I will ever be enough
Even though you remind me
that I am much more
Every chance you get 

I’m sorry that you have to remind me,
every chance you get 

(vi) I’m sorry because I have made apologies
Our safe word
An excuse to press pause on the chaos
Before we tear each other apart 

(vii) I’m sorry that for all the love poems in the world,
All I can offer you,
Is this apology.